Classmancers - A MOBA Esport Story

Flawless Memeing



Flawless Memeing

Yuel finished tearing Nia apart. It was uncertain how much of his criticism actually sank in, but that was fine. He was already prepared to provide her with long-term coaching anyway, for she was the least experienced player in the club. She won't suddenly change in a day or two, and that was fine. It'll be a long process.     

Next, it was time to deconstruct the last troublemaker of the team. This will probably be the hardest lesson to teach because the subject in question will refuse to listen no matter what.     

Nonetheless, Yuel had to give it a try. He had to preach, and preach, and preach some more until that memer will finally face reality.     

"Hey, doncha worry about Nia," Luke said. "If she wanna nap so badly during the match, I say let the girl nap. After all, you always have yours truly to sub for her! I'm always ready, just say the word, man,"     

"That'd be very reassuring," Yuel said. "That is, if I could actually count on you to help the team instead of dragging it down."     

"... huh?" Luke's smiled cracked. "What was that?"     

"You heard me. Your memeing is a liability for the team."     

"Whoa, shots fired." Luke tried his best to maintain a smile. "Okay, okay. So, it's my turn to get roasted now? Alright, go on. Hit me, daddy."     

"I have no intention of hitting you." Yuel resumed the video. "But, I'd like to show you a couple of things."     

"Alright, show me then." Luke crossed his arms in confidence. "I wanna see how bad I misplayed. Because, the way I remember things, I actually did pretty damn well."     

"Actually, you're right," Yuel admitted. "You performed well overall. At least, as 'well' as meme picks go. There actually aren't that many misplays to discuss in your case."     

Yuel skimmed over a couple of plays in which Luke's performance was sub-optimal.     

For example, one time, after Luke ganked DragonMaster in Top, he was too slow to retreat from the scene. That's what gave StormMonster enough time to counter-gank both Luke and Vincent at the same time.     

It was a disastrous scene and Luke just barely escaped alive thanks to Yuel coming up with a method to stall StormMonster. It was dangerously close and could've cost the team the entire game right there.     

"Yep, that one was legit me being careless," Luke admitted. "But, I'm still not seeing it. Were any of these mistakes you showed really that bad? I mean, sure, I misplayed a little here and there. But, these aren't some huge blunders or anything, right? What do you think, guys?"     

"Indeed," Vincent agreed. "None of this strikes me as terrible performance."     

"Totally." Lars backed up. "My dude played hella solid if that's the worst mistakes he made."     

"Yeah," Kai said. "Even I have to reluctantly agree with that."     

"C'mon, cap!" Luke snickered. "I totally did fine there, admit it."     

"I guess you did." Kai averted her eyes as she said that.     

After Yuel roasted Kai and Nia so hard, it was irritating to admit that Luke didn't do much wrong. But, it was true. So far, the video hadn't shown any grave mistakes from Luke's end and Kai couldn't remember any from the match itself. Somehow, this dang memer actually put on a decent performance.     

[As I thought.] Yuel frowned. [This will be the hardest part of the review. Nobody can point out any "problems" with Luke's performance just by watching the video. It was hard enough to gather any evidence against him and most of it is small mistakes.]     

Luke only participated in two games, so there wasn't much data to work with. And, even in these two games, this accursed memer avoided misplaying in any big way.     

Perhaps, that was only natural. Luke was a "serious" memer, as contradictory as that sounded. Even though he played memes for fun, he also genuinely tried to perform well with them.     

For example, Luke knew best how to make use of the Pyromancer's explosive burst during ganks, and he also understood his role as a "Setup Jungler" when playing Knight. So yes, given the classes he used, Luke did his part.     

Truly, Luke played well... for a memer. And, therein was the real problem. It was something that couldn't be explained with just video footage. Yuel had to present this argument through words alone. Thus, it was the biggest challenge of this entire match review.     

[Okay, here goes.] Yuel took a deep breath. He had a speech ready for this, filled with many lines of play. He prepared arguments and counter-arguments for about anything Luke could say. Hopefully, that'll be enough...     

"You're all correct," Yuel said. "All in all, Luke didn't make any blunders. There were sub-optimal plays here and there, but that's about it."     

"Yep, exactly." Luke nodded. "And hey, nobody is perfect, right?"     

"Right."     

"Wait, you're actually agreeing?" Luke was taken aback. "Then, what was all that trash talk about me being a 'liability' and all that shit? Don't tell me you tried to trigger me just to make me pay attention, because it sure worked, haha."     

"That's an interesting technique. I should adopt it."     

"Haha, pls no."     

"Anyway," Yuel continued. "That wasn't my intention. I really meant what I said. Your memeing is a liability."     

"How so?" Luke pointed at the screen. "Watch the video again, man. You must've spent hours to find all that dirt on us. But, what do you have on me? Almost nothing."     

"That's right. As far as video footage is concerned, I have very evidence against you."     

"Right? So, how can ya call me a liability? If anything, it sounds like I'm one of the best!"     

"I didn't say [you] were the liability," Yuel corrected. "I said [your memeing] is a liability. As a player, given the classes you played, you performed well. Unfortunately, the classes you picked were a liability for the team."     

"Wut? How can that be? My classes were a problem even though I did well? How does that work?"     

"Exactly as it sounds. You did well given the constraints you placed on yourself. But, if you played better classes, you would have contributed much more to the team."     

"Hey, hey, I don't remember when I signed up to become a Messiah. I ain't some savior who can magically solve all of the team's problems, ya know."     

"Right, you aren't," Yuel agreed. "But, you could've contributed a lot more. The moment you pick a semi-functional Jungler you hamper your ability to contribute to the team. It might be difficult to properly explain this but I hope you'll follow along."     

"Alright, I'm all ears." Luke crossed his arms.     

"Game 4, when you played Pyromancer," Yuel started. "Pyromancer is actually almost a viable Jungler, so you had a real chance to perform well. But still, despite rivaling assassins in burst damage, Pyromancer doesn't have any hard CC. So, you couldn't as easily finish off your targets."     

"Yep, it doesn't have any good escape tools either," Luke added. "Always gotta wait for the enemy to become isolated, then smack them hard."     

"But, did the enemy ever give you such an opportunity?"     

"Eh, I think once or twice."     

"Exactly. Therein lies the problem. In the few opportunities you got, you played well. But, since you picked a semi-functional Jungler, the number of good opportunities you had was very small."     

"Well, it ain't my fault the enemy was strong." Luke shrugged. "They started dominating the game early on. What was I supposed to do about that?"     

"You're right, Game 4 was a rough ride," Yuel agreed. "Then, I hope Game 5 will illustrate the problem better."     

"Alright, come at me."     

"Initially, I had high hopes for your Pyromancer since it's one of the more functional Junglers you play. But, Game 4 made me realize that even your Pyromancer won't cut it against these enemies. They're too organized to be taken down by an assassin who didn't have any CC or escape/chasing tools."     

"Yep, them dudes were some tough cookies."     

"If it were possible, I would've made you pick a high tier assassin instead, or maybe even a bruiser," Yuel said. "We needed a reliable Jungler to keep the opponents' aggression in check, but you don't play any of those."     

"Yep, ya know it."     

"So, in the end, I had to settle on something subpar like Knight."     

"Hey, rude," Luke objected. "Apologize to mah boi Knight. Bruh can get the job done. Didn't I do just fine with it?"     

"Again, 'fine' is a relative term here," Yuel explained. "If you're asking whether you played a decent Setup Jungler, then yes, you did fine. You created some favorable situations and helped your teammates score kills."     

"Right? Ain't I just awesome?"     

"But, my problem is that you played a Setup Jungler in the first place. The current meta has little place for those. The Support is more than enough for setting up opportunities and initiating. What the current meta favors for Junglers are assassins and aggressive bruisers."     

"Hey, you made me pick Knight, so ya can't blame me for that one."     

"I... made you?" Yuel twitched.     

"Yep, you told me to pick Knight, remember?"     

"Oh yes, of course..." Yuel trembled. "Because what other choices did I have!? No matter how many times I ask you to pick a proper class, you only ever pick memes. So, what else could I do? I had to settle on something you'd agree on picking! Did I want you to pick Knight? Hell no. Did I have any other choice? Also no."     

"Hey, easy, bro." Luke smiled awkwardly. "Alright, I get it. You hate my memeing."     

"No, you don't get it, that's the problem!" Yuel could tell that blood was rushing to his head but he couldn't stop himself. This had to be said. "You don't seem to realize it so let me explain: I constantly have to adjust the entire team's game plan in order to work around your subpar picks. While you're out there, having fun memeing, the rest of the team is suffering at your expense!"     

"Welp, aren't we being a little melodramatic here?"     

"No, not at all," Yuel insisted. The fact it was so difficult to convey this important point was getting to him. Even though he thoroughly prepared for this conversation and expected it to be difficult, it still managed to trigger him. [How can he not understand that he's causing so many problems for the team!?]     

"Yuel, my dude." Lars waved. "Take it easy. We're not here to fight, right?"     

"Yeah, you're right." Yuel took a much-needed deep breath. He almost lost himself in his ranting. He wanted to drill this point into Luke so badly, but the guy's skull was made out of diamond. Nothing was getting through.     

This was getting aggravating, but it won't do any good for anybody if Yuel lost his cool here. The moment he snaps, nobody will be willing to listen to him anymore.     

"If I may say," Vincent started. "Perhaps you should try using a positive example instead?"     

"A positive example?" Yuel asked.     

"Indeed. You must've had alternative team compositions in mind for Games 4 and 5, am I right? Then, tell us about those and how they could've achieved better results."     

"An interesting suggestion." Yuel didn't prepare that kind of speech, but it was something he could handle. He still remembered most of his brainstorming for the scrimmage, so he could draw out that information. But, will he be able to drill any wisdom into Luke's thick head by explaining what better options they had for Games 4 and 5?     

[As long as there's a chance I can get through to this unruly goof, I suppose I should try it...]     


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