The big dog: Let me borrow your chat account for a bit!
The big dog: Let me borrow your chat account for a bit!
Such a big pekingese, perhaps it was… yeah, there was no doubt about it. This was the same monster pekingese that was chasing Demon Monarch Anzhi yesterday; it even gave him a painful bite.
As a matter of fact, the smaller the puppy was, the more lovable it would be. When a puppy was just born, even if was of mixed race or chubby, it would still be lovable.
However, after growing up, the puppy would change into something that wasn’t really lovable… and even something as lovable as a pekingese, once it changes into a 5 meters tall monster, would not be so lovable anymore.
The monster pekingese was squatting on the ground. It had its tongue out and was panting heavily with a ‘hah hah’ sound. It was acting like a little puppy. However, a monster dog of this rank would certainly not fear heat, why was it sticking its tongue out?
After a moment, Song Shuhang recalled the method used by the disciples of the Immortal Farming Sect while in front of a big meat-eating monster dog, ‘Son of b*tch, come here and eat me if you have the balls!’
Hm, but of course he wasn’t stupid. So he wouldn’t use this approach.
"Hello," Song Shuhang steeled his heart and waved his hand to the monster pekingese.
"Hah hah hah," the big pekingese tilted its head. If it had been several times smaller, that appearance would have been lovable.
"You can understand my words, right? I know that all high-ranked monster beasts possess wisdom," Song Shuhang saw that the monster dog had no intention of attacking him. Thus, he decided to try a friendly approach.
The monster pekingese tilted its head in the other direction, still trying to act cute.
You don’t understand Mandarin?" Song Shuhang asked while perplexed.
He was sure that this monster dog possessed wisdom that wasn’t inferior to that of a human being. He knew this because when it was facing that member of the Immortal Farming Sect, it had a look of ‘ridicule’ in its eyes.
However, monster dogs are in the end different from humans. They didn’t have those nine years of compulsory education. Maybe it was only able to understand words spoken with a soft accent or some other type of strange accent? And therefore it was unable to understand Mandarin?
Then, that disciple of the Immortal Farming Sect that was courting death by yelling in front of the huge monster dog, ‘Son of a bitch, come and eat me!’ got lucky that the dog didn’t understand? So that’s why he let off those two disciples?
The more Song Shuhang thought about it, the more he thought that it was possible.
Then, was it able to judge the meaning of the words based on the tone or the outward expression?
Thinking of this, Song Shuhang had an idea. He had recalled a joke from some time ago.
Therefore, he gently said with a smile, "Hello, is your mother a big monkey?"
After hearing these words, the monster pekingese stopped acting cute. It straightened its head and retracted its tongue. Its eyes showed once again a ridiculing look.
At that point, it said with a smooth Beijing accent, "Your mother is a gorilla! Woof!"
"..." Song Shuhang was speechless.
This monster pekingese had such wicked interests!
After finishing its sentence, the monster pekingese spat out its tongue and started to pant again ‘Hah hah hah’. It blinked a few times while looking at the speechless Song Shuhang.
Song Shuhang heaved a sigh. He took off his shoes and went toward the dormitory bed. He was a bit relieved—this monster dog was only playing pranks on him; it didn’t seem to have any intention of eating him.
When he arrived in the bedroom, the monster pekingese also followed him.
"Do you need something from me?" Song Shuhang thought for a long time, but in the end, he didn’t find an appropriate way to address this monster pekingese.
"Hm, I came here to ask you something." The monster pekingese opened its mouth once again and spoke in human language, "You have recently met with ‘Medicine Master’, right?"
Song Shuhang had immediately raised his guard, thinking how he should reply.
"No need to deny it. During the past few days, I was able to smell Medicine Master’s scent from your body. Hm, yesterday you even had the smell of that small girl from the Su Clan and later that of that Seven guy," the monster pekingese knew everything. It even reported the names of all those cultivators that had come in contact with Song Shuhang.
After hearing all of this, Song Shuhang finally understood everything.
"You’re True Monarch Yellow Mountain’s treasured pet. That monster dog that run away from home, right?" He still remembered that when he was just added to the group, the members were saying that True Monarch Yellow Mountain was very busy because his treasured monster dog had run away from home.
At the time, Song Shuhang still believed that the seniors in the group were a bunch of chuuni. Therefore, he thought that True Monarch Yellow Mountain had just lost his pet dog.
Hm… apparently, it really was a pet dog. A pekingese was indeed a pet dog after all. But True Monarch Yellow Mountain’s pet was just a few sizes larger than a normal one.
"Woof," the monster pekingese tilted his head, and an angry look appeared on his face… refrain from asking how Song Shuhang was able to discern if a dog was angry just by looking at its expression, he just magically could. [1]
"True Monarch Yellow Mountain didn’t bring you back home last time?" Lately, True Monarch Yellow Mountain was always online, so he thought that had already brought this monster dog back home.
"Woof." The monster pekingese changed the position of his head and coldly snorted while keeping an angry expression.
Song Shuhang heaved a sigh––True Monarch Yellow Mountain must have had his great deal of hardships while taking care of this pet dog.
"So, what did you want from me?" Song Shuhang asked.
"I was looking for Medicine Master. I wanted some medicine pills as snacks from him." The monster pekingese kept acting cute and said, "Therefore, I decided to follow you yesterday, hoping to Medicine Master. I kept following and following till I arrived at the hospital. But I don’t know which bastard had placed a poison gas bomb there. I was careless and got affected by it... I felt nauseated for a whole day and didn’t feel like eating anything. Woof woof!"
"..." Song Shuhang’s face twitched, wasn’t that the ‘stinking pill’ he put there?
"Therefore, I decided to ask you... do you know where Medicine Master is?" The monster pekingese asked.
"Senior Medicine Master is temporarily busy. He went out to help some friends to treat an illness. These friends went to a dangerous place and met some problems, making them lose their memories. Therefore, Senior Medicine Master will return only after a few days. If you’re not in a hurry, you can return a few days later to meet him," Song Shuhang replied.
The monster pekingese pondered a bit and said, "Fine. If this is the case, I’ll meet him in a few days. Oh yeah, are you a new member of the Nine Provinces Number One Group? You know both Medicine Master and that Seven guy, but I never saw you inside the group before."
Song Shuhang nodded: "Yeah, I’m a new member of the group."
"Good, can you let me use your account for a bit? I need to say a few things in the chat. Woof woof!" The monster pekingese was very excited while shaking his tail.
"Chat?" Song Shuhang looked at his small computer, then, looked at this 5 meters tall gigantic pekingese…‘If that paw were to touch my computer, it would probably be crushed to smithereens. Wouldn’t I have to directly throw it in the trash?’
"I can reduce my size!" Looking at Song Shuhang’s expression, the monster pekingese had immediately understood everything. A white-colored light gently covered his body. Afterwards, he quickly changed into a normal-sized pekingese.
And after changing his size… he actually looked cute?!
"What do you think? Is my new form cute? Quick, quick, quick. Turn on your computer and log into the chat!" The monster pekingese started to cheerfully jump.
"Fine," Song Shuhang turned the computer on. However, he didn’t log in in the chat software on the desktop. Instead, he went to a folder inside an external drive with a backup of the chat software, using it to log in.
After Altar Master’s events, he was very careful to hide his status as a ‘cultivator’. Even his computer had all sorts of protections now. Moreover, he didn’t dare to keep the chat account’s info stored inside the computer. He used the same pattern used in internet café—every time he logged out, he would automatically remove the chat account’s log in info.
After typing his password and logging into the chat, he turned around and gave the computer to the monster dog––he was still somewhat cautious. After all, he didn’t know for sure if this pekingese was really True Monarch Yellow Mountain’s pet.
The monster pekingese cheerfully jumped on the computer desk––it seemed that after transforming, not only his size but even his weight had been reduced. Otherwise, this computer desk would have broken already.
Afterwards, he skillfully used his paw to open the window of the ‘Nine Provinces Number One Group’.
And next… he selected the five-stroke input method!
‘My god, he’s going to use the five-stroke input method? Even I use the pinyin method!’ Song Shuhang thought in his heart.
And when he was still thinking, the monster pekingese started to type on the keyboard at great speed.
Nine Provinces Number One Group.
Stressed by a Mountain of Books: "@True Monarch Yellow Mountain, Yellow Mountain, you stupid cu*t! Come out. Come out if you have the balls!"
Song Shuhang started to sweat profusely. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t block it.
"?" Northern River’s Loose Cultivator was the first one to reply. He asked while confused, "Little Friend Shuhang?"
True Monarch Yellow Mountain: "…"
Stressed by a Mountain of Books: "Wahaha! I ran away again. What are you going to do now?! Yellow Mountain, you stupid cu*t! Are you going to bite me or what?!"
Song Shuhang was silently looking at the monster pekingese typing at a terrifying speed on the keyboard. If Medicine Master were to see this scene… he would probably cry himself to sleep!
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator: "…"
Wandering Monk Profound Principle: "…"
Medicine Master: "…"
Afterwards, the seniors in the group sent a row of ellipses.
Needless to say, they had already understood what had happened. True Monarch Yellow Mountain’s treasured monster dog had run away from home again. Moreover, for some unknown reason, he was now in the same place as little friend Song Shuhang. He had even used his account to get online.
"Little Doudou, stop causing a ruckus," True Monarch Yellow Mountain replied.
"Of course, I will... keep causing a ruckus! What can you do about it? Since you have come, are you going to bite me? Come, bite me!" The pekingese was cheerfully beating his paws on the keyboard.
But just as he had finished his last sentence...
[System Notification: Stressed by a Mountain of Books has been muted by the group’s founder, True Monarch Yellow Mountain, for 1 day.]
Muted.
In these past few days, True Monarch Yellow Mountain had used this muting technique more than in the last months. Thinking of this, he felt exhausted.
"F*ck! That stupid Yellow Mountain actually dared to mute me! Woof, woof woof!" The monster pekingese said.
‘If I were True Monarch Yellow Mountain, I would also mute you. No, let alone muting you, I might even consider chopping you into pieces and putting you into a pot,’ Song Shuhang thought.
Wait, now that I think of it… that was my account! Aaaargh!
At this time, True Monarch Yellow Mountain wrote inside the Nine Provinces Number One Group: "Little Friend Song Shuhang, I’ll have to trouble you with little Doudou. Please keep an eye on him for a while. Wait till I’m done with my business here, and in two months at most, I’ll come to your place to take him back. In the meantime… don’t make him run!"
Song Shuhang looked at the monster pekingese. Then, he looked at his own thin arms and legs. Keeping an eye on ‘little Doudou’? He felt that this mission was impossible.
The monster pekingese turned his head and looked toward Song Shuhang, "Woof, woof! That stupid Yellow Mountain wants to rely on this noob to keep an eye on me?"
Song Shuhang immediately felt the veins on his forehead bulge!