The Gods Are Crazy
The Gods Are Crazy
Hao Ren felt cheated since the day he signed the contract. He had gone through a bunch of dangerous and inexplicable things, but the work benefits of the new unit were the one thing he was satisfied with. They were not bad. Although the unreliable Raven often made a mess of what she was supposed to send to him for a lot of reasons, have you ever seen any company on Earth giving you a car and ship within six months of working? On top of that, the ship was not an ordinary ship, but an actual spaceship.
So, Hao Ren was looking forward to his annual bonus.
Raven 12345 did not let him wait too long. She slashed the air and one by one, she moved a couple of things out from the dimensional crack. "According to our company's contract, the annual bonuses are here..."
Hao Ren's expression quickly shifted from anticipation to dullness with an "are you kidding me?" look.
"Fifty kilograms of rice, fifty kilograms of flour, ten litres of oil… Yes? Any problems?" Raven 12345 asked when she found that Hao Ren was still standing there. Hao Ren was unsure of what to say at that moment, so he asked, "…This… is the annual bonus?"
"Yes." Raven 12345 nodded and said, "You should've already known when you signed the contract. The annual bonuses of heaven include rice, flour, and oil. Of course, this is limited to standard carbon-based biospheres. Some places receive sulphuric acid, gasoline, and silicon crystal plates...
Hao Ren looked at the pile of things, feeling that they belonged in the streets or office rather than heaven. But it seemed to have been written in the contract. He could only sigh and assume that the gods were all crazy. They gave you cars and spacecrafts as a small award, but only two bags of rice as an annual bonus…
He soon knew that he had underestimated the powers of these psychos. Raven 12345 was still digging stuff out. "...Here are two boxes of snacks for you, half a bag of tea seed oil, a box of Golden Apples..."
Hao Ren saw a small box filled with more than 10 golden apples and the apples were covered in some kind of mysterious brilliance. He was thrilled and asked, "What did you just say?"
"Golden Apples," Raven 12345 said. "They are a classic variety cultivated by the goddess of life. It looks like a legendary fruit on Earth, so it's called the Golden Apple. This is not real gold of course. It's edible."
Hao Ren then asked, his voice beginning to tremble, "What-What's the result of eating it?"
Raven 12345 pondered for a moment and said, "There aren't any special results on me, but it's said that if mortals eat it... it can at least eliminate all diseases and help grow back broken limbs. Oh yes, it can also extend one's life expectancy for hundreds of years...
Hao Ren's heart pounded. After confirming that Raven was not joking, his eyes shone as he asked, "They're all mine?"
Raven nodded but Hao Ren was still puzzled. "But the problem is... putting such a box of treasure together with rice, flour, and oil, don't you think the package is a little weird?"
"There's nothing weird about it. The annual bonus includes rice, flour, oil, snacks, and fruit. Rice, flour, and oil can be kept for a long time, but fruit can't. So, we changed it to Golden Apples, which can be stored for a long time. We've been doing it for thousands of years."
"Just for this one reason? Because it has a long shelf life?" Hao Ren almost cried out.
"Yes."
The gods were all crazy!
"There is one last thing," said Raven 12345 as she took out some red paper from the dimensional tear. "Chinese New Year is just around the corner, so I'm giving you this couplet—this is my own handwriting. Paste it on your door and it will turn your house as well as anything within a two mile radius around it into a holy sanctuary."
Hao Ren accepted the couplet with a weird expression on his face. He unfolded the papers and saw some scratchy words written on them. The first line was, "I've been thinking for two months and I don't know what to write"; the second line was, "I've been thinking for another three days"; and the horizontal scroll read, "As long as there's a word on it…"
The whole couplet looked so scratchy that Hao Ren suspected it was written with a paint brush. However, when Hao Ren was holdind on to it, he could feel a certain warmth. A dim glow flowed around the handwriting and there was a faint, sacred atmosphere surrounding them.
"Umm… Can I not paste it on my door?" Hao Ren was struggling inside. He felt like he always got into situations like this every time he met her. "I'll keep it as a treasure."
Raven 12345 waved her hand and said forthrightly, "Come on, I'm very optimistic about you. This is a bonus for you, and maybe I'll even give you another one next year."
Hao Ren was about to cry. He really did not want to admit it, but he was worried about how this thing would affect the appearance of the city…
After Hao Ren kept his "annual bonuses", Raven 12345 talked to him about things that happened in The Plane of Dreams. Hao Ren admitted that he ended up using the orbital bombing to kill the First Born (which he did not discuss in detail in his report). Strictly speaking, even if it was justifiable, it was against the rules. Thankfully, the end results looked good.
However, he did not expect Raven 12345 to just smile and say, "Well, it seems that you've already figured out how things work…"
"Huh?"
"Sometimes you have to deal with problems in a simple and crude way." Raven 12345 smiled and said, "Throw a bomb to solve all your problems. If you can't do it, you don't have enough guts. As long as you can get things done, it's okay to blow things up."
Hao Ren's lips began to twitch. "That doesn't seem to be appropriate," he said.
Raven 12345 laughed and said, "You did a good job anyway. But remember, it's still risky. 'Explosions' should only be used when you don't have a better option."
Then she waved her hand and said, "Let's talk about it later. You probably now realize that The Plane of Dreams is bigger and wider than you think, right?"
Hao Ren nodded and said, "It's a sea of stars."
"Yes, a sea of stars. I've told you before that The Plane of Dreams is a real world like the Surface World. You should've already realised then that the universe and the starry skies in The Plane of Dreams were not just background pictures. So, are you going to investigate the situation of other planets in The Plane of Dreams?"
"Yes." Hao Ren laughed and told her his next plan, "I've decided to start with the siren's origin. The news of the Day of Return came from them. I suspect that their true purpose was to prevent other unusual creatures from returning to Holletta. But, they want to use Holletta's power for themselves, so that they can go back to their home. This is what I've just realised. If I can find the sirens' home, I'll probably figure out what caused the big time-traveling incident 10,000 years ago."
Raven 12345 looked at Hao Ren with satisfaction and said, "Very good. Anyway, you're responsible for this case now and we'll see what you can uncover. I'm also investigating something here. Although I have a general idea of the cause of the calamity 10,000 years ago, I'm unable to find out the details. Perhaps, your intelligence is the key…"
Just as Hao Ren was about to chat with her politely to con her into giving him more funds, they suddenly heard a shout of anger coming from outside. "Crazy woman! Get out here! Where's my sword?!"
Raven 12345 looked anxious when she heard this. She turned around and got ready to run away. Hao Ren shouted at her, "Hey, hey, what's happening..."
"I have to go now. My enemy is coming for me! Let's meet again next time..." Raven 12345 said without turning her head.
Before she finished talking, they saw a flash of blue light in front of them, and the nervous goddess disappeared. Hao Ren and the four ascetics looked at each other in consternation, not knowing what had just happened.
A moment later, the door of the round hall was kicked open violently and an unusually tall woman with long brown hair stormed in. The woman was surprised to see Hao Ren and the four ascetics. However, she sensed the lingering smell Raven 12345 left behind in the air, so she frowned and asked, "Where's that psycho?"
Hao Ren was not sure what was happening, but he knew that since this lady had the guts to break in and say such words, she had to be an acquaintance of Raven 12345. He did not want to offend her and answered, "I don't know. She said her enemy was coming for her, and then she ran away."
"F*ck! Again…" The tall woman... or the goddess violently hit her fist. Suddenly, a voice came from the corridor. "Chief! There's a teleportation portal reaction in the arcane hall!"
The tall woman immediately rushed out in the blink of an eye. A moment later, they heard the sounds of explosions and fights in the distance. The four ascetics looked at Hao Ren in bewilderment and asked, "This is?"
Hao Ren quickly lowered his head and dragged them out of there. "Don't ask. Maybe it's a war between gods…"