The Legend of the Kyubi

"I can explain it" - said Kiba as he noticed how the boys looked at him with neutrality.     

"No need... you can do whatever you want with your ass" - replied Sasuke as he shook his head - "Even though I find it hypocritical that you annoyed me with Orochimaru even though you now have a relationship with Haku-san"     

"It is not what you think!" - Kiba exclaimed as he was practically on the verge of tears.     

"What is it, Kiba-kun?" - Haku asked with a scowl.     

"I am trying to explain to these idiots about our relationship!" - Kiba replied.     

" *cof cof* whipped *cof cof*" - said Sasuke as he earned a cool glance from the Inuzuka.     

"Ki-ba-kun!" - exclaimed Haku as her gaze turned cold.     

"H-Hai!" - exclaimed the Inuzuka.     

"At least now we know who has the pants in the relationship," Choji muttered as the others resisted the urge to laugh.     

"But that does not make it any less disturbing," added Shino.     

"Can you let me explain this fucking shit?!" - Kiba exclaimed so loudly that all the passers-by stared at him - "Oops? Ahem! Sorry, you can go on with your business"     

They gave him one last look before going back to his business.     

"This couldn't be worse," whispered Kiba, only to pale as the girls looked at him in surprise - "I hate my life..."     

* * * * *     

" Let me see if I understand" - said Sakura while looking at the young Inuzuka - "Haku, it's a girl"     

Kiba nodded.     

"But she has the peculiarity that he becomes a boy when she sneezes," added Ino, who was frankly still a little uncomfortable with Kurama, as was Hinata who gave him looks from time to time.     

Kiba nodded again.     

"That makes a lot of sense," Shikamaru nodded.     

"Really?" - Kiba could not believe how quickly the others had accepted all this.     

"I mean, we have duck-ass haired emo that can copy techniques with its eyes, its brother can invoke almost real illusions, and call up a fire that can burn for days.     

Sasuke snorted when he heard this.     

"We also have a clan of shinobis who have eyes capable of seeing 360°, seeing through things and at a maximum distance of one kilometer" - added Shikamaru - "Probably a clan with a large percentage of closet perverts"     

". . ." - Neji frowned but said nothing because he knew his clan was wasting the Byakugan on matters that were best left unspoken.     

"There's Orochimaru... ...I don't think I need to go any further" - continued the boy with the pineapple hairstyle while the others nodded - "A clan of Shinobis who are practically half-dog"     

"Hey" - exclaimed Kiba in annoyance - "It's racist but you're right"     

"One alien... no, two aliens" - rectified the Nara boy while everyone looked at the distracted Lee.     

"And finally... we have Kurama," sighed Shikamaru as he glanced at the boy who only shrugged. He was an archaic entity who possessed the body of a fifteen-year-old, chronological age of twelve and many factors that made everything much weirder.     

"Doesn't it offend you?" - asked Lee as he looked at the ginger.     

"I've been told worse" - replied Kurama as he shrugged his shoulders.     

"I think the existence of a peculiarity like Haku's does not sound so strange now," Kiba muttered as Haku placed her hand on his.     

"By the way..." said Sakura as everyone looked at her - "What are you now, Haku-san?"     

"I am a man right now," he replied as Kurama, Sasuke and the other boys held their breath.     

Kiba was the most affected by the situation but resisted everything out of respect for his girlfriend.     

"Uh... this is awkward..." - said Ino as Haku tilted his head in confusion.     

* * * * *     

Thirty minutes had passed and the groups had separated.     

The boys were next to Kiba in a bar while the girls had gone to get something to eat.     

"I still can't believe I kissed a man... and worst of all, I had finally gathered the courage to ask her..." - said Kiba while crying - "That was my first kiss!"     

"My condolences... but we too suffered from the attack" - said Shikamaru while the others nodded.     

"I still can't believe she's a boy, too" - said Lee as he shook his head.     

"Look on the bright side, Kiba..." - Sasuke said sarcastically, "You took advantage of the promotion and got a 2x1."     

"Fuck you, Sasuke" - said Kiba coldly - "At least I have the confidence that Haku when she's a woman, has more curves than the board you have as a girlfriend"     

"Ouch..." - the kids could see the damage caused by that burn.     

"Yeah, but at least I'm not afraid that while we're doing it, she'll sneeze and... Oh, my God!" - exclaimed Sasuke as he ran to the bathroom to vomit, but to his 'liking', he didn't go just because all the kids except Kurama followed him.     

"Thanks for the mental picture, you fucking sicko," said Kurama as he shook his head. He would be in a similar situation if Kushina had not punished him - "Something good came out of all this... my mental strength increased considerably... Ugh..."     

* * * * *     

"Hi, girls" - said Karin, who was accompanied by Kin - "Who's the new girl?"     

"She is Haku" - answered Sakura while she informed her of the events of all this.     

"Wow... I had never heard something like that" - said Kin with surprise - "Although what surprises me more, is the fact that you are going out with Flea Bag-kun"     

"Kiba-kun is a good guy..." - Haku said with a smile - "He's an idiot but he has a good heart"     

"You are too pure for someone like dirty Kiba" - said Sakura while she shook her head - "But it is good to hear that someone observed the good in him"     

"Am I the only one who thinks Kiba will end up being bisexual?" - asked Karin as she earned the looks of all the girls gathered - "I'm sorry!"     

"Don't worry, I'm sure we all think the same thing, even Haku" - answered Ino as the aforementioned nodded.     

"I'm sure the only one who doesn't realize that possibility yet is Kiba-san himself" - said Hinata, who had a slight blush on her cheeks as she imagined an MxM scenario of Kiba with Haku.     

"What are you thinking, Hinata-chan?" - Ino asked with a scowl as she noticed her friend's blush.     

"N-Nothing!" - exclaimed the girl as she looked away.     

"What are the boys doing?" - asked Tenten as he looked around.     

"They're probably doing something stupid... they're boys after all," answered Karin as she shrugged.     

"What if we go and see?" - asked Ino curiously.     

"I'm in," Kin nodded as the others followed the blonde.     

* * * * *     

"Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!" - shouted the boys while Neji was drinking without control.     

"That's why I said the 'Three no' are for people without self-control" - sighed the redheaded man as the boys seemed to be enjoying their first drink.     

"Y-You were the one who said, 'Old enough to kill, old enough to drink, fuck and gamble'..." - said Sasuke, who was still conscious (a little) - "And I'm thinking of doing the second one"     

"I'm sorry, I don't play for that team... I'm sure Kiba could help you," Kurama replied seriously.     

"No, asshole!" - exclaimed Sasuke - "I mean Sakura-chan!"     

"Oh... that makes more sense" - the redheaded man nodded - "You want some advice?"     

"O-Of course..." - said Sasuke as he nodded at great speed. If anyone could help them, it was none other than Sekkusu Kami-sama.     

"First, lubricate her," said Kurama as he began to explain some techniques to Sasuke before he started.     

The Uchiha blushed because he never thought of such things.     

"As expected from Sekkusu Kami-sama... *hic*" murmured Sasuke as he nodded seriously.     

"Hey guys, that chick over there bet that we wouldn't dance half-naked for the bar!" - exclaimed Kiba - "She said we weren't man enough!"     

The guys were furious as Kurama's mouth trembled slightly from the laughter he was holding, although he couldn't resist any longer when he saw the guys start working as strippers - "Okay. This is the best day I've had all week, hahaha!"     

"Do you want anything else, Sekkusu Kami-sama?" - asked the waitress.     

"No, I'm fine with this" - smiled the redhead but his expression changed when he noticed how the girls were approaching so he decided to play along with the others. "Come on boy! You can do it! Hahaha!"     

". . ." - Sakura and the others watched everything unfold with red faces because of the embarrassment while they were leaving, although some of them got a good blackmailing material.     

"Heh, fools" - Kurama snorted while he let out another laugh when he noticed how the boys started dancing - "Ok, I think this was more than enough"     

"Sorry, guys, but the party's over!" - said Kurama as people looked on in annoyance as they saw their fun was so abruptly ended - "I see there are some protesters... How about we 'talk' outside? I'm sure we can come to a consensus between the two parties"     

". . ." - those present were silent as they clicked their tongues. They found it hilarious to see how a group of young shinobis was performing these antics.     

* * * * * * * * * *     

Disclaimer: Don't drink guys if you' re underage, this is just fiction, and to create humor, I'm not encouraging underage drinking.     

I repeat, do not drink if you are not of age, nor imitate anyone just for the sake of it, because everything can end up with fatal results.