The Legend of the Kyubi

"Everyone takes the opponent you want," Itachi said with neutrality as he looked at each of his former colleagues.     

"I'm going for Princess Dynamite," smiled Kisame as he looked at Deidara, "I have a business to collect... The son of a bitch owes me money, and he never paid me!"     

"I take the stranger with the mask..." - Kimimaro replied normally - "I want to see how immortal he is when I'm done with him..."     

"I guess I'll stay with the Psycho Monk" - sighed Itachi as he looked at Hidan - "At least now I'll be able to solve some issues I had pending with that bastard..."     

"Hey!" - shouted Jiraiya as he dodged his opponent's attacks - "Here!"     

"What is this shit? Your last will?" - Kisame asked when he saw the scroll in his hands.     

"No! It's a special seal that Kushina created! It serves to break the seal that holds the beings invoked by Edo Tensei!" - shouted Jiraiya as he jumped backward to dodge his opponent's attack - "Can't you let me speak?!"     

Sasori did not respond, he just looked at Jiraiya neutrally as he continued to send puppets following the Sannin.     

"You're much more annoying than the other redhead..." - murmured Jiraiya with a scowl as he continued to fight the revived Suna shinobi.     

"I wonder why Kushina-sama would think of something like this..." - said Itachi as he looked at the scrolls Jiraiya had thrown at them.     

"I suppose it is more a 'better to be safe than sorry'" - replied Kimimaro as he shook his head. He had seen all the preparations that the members of the Uzumaki clan had made for different types of scenarios, even for some as strange as an invasion of space beings.     

Itachi was silent for a few seconds before he let out a sigh - "We'd better just accept them and get it over with because I feel I'm going to end up with a headache if I keep trying to get inside those Uzumaki's head..."     

"Believe me, there are two of us" - answered Kisame as he threw himself at Deidara.     

* * * [Kisame vs Deidara] * * *     

"Are you going to pay me what you owe me or do I have to break your legs and sell you as a prostitute?" - said Kisame with a scowl - "I'm sure that with a dress and some make-up you'll be the sensation for those with 'refined' tastes..."     

"I'm going to ignore all your trash talk because it's time for me to show you my art!" - shouted Deidara as he made a big clay bird - "Remember my line?"     

"Faster, Sasori?" - asked Kisame as he tilted his head in confusion.     

"Yes... NO!" - roared Deidara in fury as he looked at the exasperating blue-skinned man - "Art is an Explosion! Katsu!"     

Kisame couldn't say any more because countless explosions occurred around him.     

Deidara smiled when he saw this because it was obvious that his enemy was not taking him seriously - "You have to be careful, Kisame"     

"You took the words out of my mouth" - answered Kisame neutrally as he appeared over Deidara with a cold look full of bloodlust - "You are still the same unperceptive fool, always concentrating only on your explosions... and me thinking that death would make you change..."     

Deidara quickly moved to a nearby rock, only to notice with surprise how Kisame now appeared behind him.     

"You won't escape from me, Deidara" - said Kisame neutrally - "When a shark detects blood, it chases the source to the end of the world..."     

Deidara continued to escape from the blue-skinned man, only to notice with a frown how he seemed to know where he was going to move.     

"It's no use!" - roared Kisame fiercely - "Suiton: Suikodan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Shark Bullet Jutsu)!"     

From Kisame's sword came a huge shark-shaped projectile that rushed to where the revived shinobi was.     

Deidara's pupils contracted when he saw this, so with a quick movement, he summoned a wall of earth.     

"You fell into the trap," said Kisame as he appeared behind Deidara. "Devour, Samehada!"     

"!" - Deidara could only watch in surprise as the huge mouth of her opponent's sword had bitten off his entire left arm up to his shoulder, as well as much of his chakra, although the good side was that as a zombie, he felt no pain, or he would honestly be screaming for his mommy.     

"You know Kisame? As much as your attack may have been successful, it is useless for beings like us" - answered Deidara with a scowl as he tried to regenerate his arm, only to scowl when he noticed how it remained the same - "What did you do?"     

"I discovered a slight peculiarity with Samehada during my training with Zabuza" - said Kisame as his sword grew rapidly - "She has not only the ability to devour Chakra, she can also devour seals, and in the case of some compatible seals, Samehada can devour their effects...".     

"!" - Deidara opened his eyes in surprise when he heard this, only to get serious because he would not lie, he had trusted his immortal body, but now he was paying the consequences.     

"Anyway, I'd better kill you quickly or rather I'll send you back to hell" - said Kisame as he started to release his chakra - "I'm sure your 8 o'clock appointment is waiting for you with some Vaseline"     

Deidara did not respond to the attempt to enrage him, he slowly took a breath and concentrated on what was in front of him - "C1..."     

"Your fireworks?" - Kisame asked disdainfully, only to open his eyes in surprise when he noticed the large number of bombs Deidara had created because the quantity was so great that even he would suffer if they all exploded so close to him - "Ok, I'm surprised..."     

"Let's see if you can still laugh after this..." - said Deidara with neutrality.     

"I'm going to keep on laughing because no matter how many bombs you throw at me, I... - said Kisame, just to notice a little detail... he was glued to the floor - "Huh?"     

"I see you noticed it" - said Deidara as a grim smile appeared on his face - "That's a new mix I created that I couldn't use before I was killed, so feel proud to be the first person to experience the wonders of the flypaper bomb..."     

". . ." - Kisame frowned as he tried to get out, only to notice how the glue seemed not to want to let him go, it was even using his Chakra to catch him even more.     

"As you may have noticed, my new mix can use the victim's chakra to create a much stronger adhesive effect" - said Deidara as he threw more bombs at his opponent, only to have them stick to the surrounding mix - "Anyway, I guess that would be it. There's only one thing left for me to say... I'll see you in hell, Kisame! Katsu!"     

*BANG!*     

The sound of the explosion resounded in the place while a huge smoke curtain appeared where the blue-skinned man was before.     

Slowly the smoke curtain disappeared, showing a huge black hole produced by the explosion of hundreds of bombs.     

"They may be my weakest bombs, but their effectiveness is no less than the others" - said Deidara when seeing that the body of his opponent had disappeared without a trace, leaving only his sword in place - "Job done, I better go give support to the others..."     

"You idiot..." - Deidara froze when he heard Kisame's familiar voice, only to open his eyes in surprise when he felt a fist hit his face - "Ugh..."     

"You're not the only one with cards up your sleeve, Princess Dynamite" - said Kisame in a creepy voice that matched his new look. He now had gray skin, a huge dorsal fin on his back, two fins sticking out of his elbows and a look that made him look more like a shark than he already was - "And this is mine! Fusion: Samehada!"     

Deidara tried to back off, but to his dismay, Kisame grabbed him by the neck firmly with his rough, scaly hands - "Ugh..."     

"Easy, princess... we'll have fun together now that I have you in my hands..." - said Kisame as he burst out laughing madly.     

"Normally I wouldn't do something like this, but now that I'm 'immortal', I think it's the perfect time to do it" - said Deidara with neutrality - "Ningen no Bakudan (Human Bomb)! Katsu!     

But to his surprise, nothing happened - "What's going on?!"     

"Simple, because by merging with Samehada, I acquired all her abilities" - smiled Kisame while he narrowed his eyes - "In other words, by making direct contact with your body, I can devour all your chakra, but well, I think I had enough fun..."     

Kisame slowly took out the scroll that Jiraiya had given him - "Any last words, Princess Dynamite?"     

"Yes..." - Deidara said with hatred as he saw that his stay in the world of the living had been shorter than he had thought it would be - "See you in hell, Kisame..."     

"Oh, believe me, I will go with open arms" - said Kisame as he burst out laughing - "But for now, I will enjoy my life in the world of the living, although I hope that when I get to that warm place, you will return all the money you owe me... Kai!"