Ghost In Red

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I sat on my bed, wondering where did everyone else go as I arrived home and found that no one was around. All who are left here are Mimi, and Mr. Gubbels, our gateman. Dad and Candice must have taken Jonas with them back to New York City earlier tonight.    

My father mentioned that they would be spending time with my unconscious body back there before I totally depart from the world of the living— my remaining time is coming shorter and shorter.    

Ugh, this just sucks so much. Why do I have to experience this kind of situation? Maybe I am just unlucky naturally.    

Though I don't want to die yet, I guess I have no other choice but to accept it maybe. What else can I do, right? I have been trying to go back into my body; I went almost everywhere to find help from people who could possibly notice me; I prayed so hard, and I think my only choice to make is to accept that it is my end. It's sad, and it hurts me so much. I still have so many things planned in my future; I have so many things that I wanted to do, see and know; I still have some things that I want to fix and make amends, and I want to make my life a better one. But I guess I have no chance to fulfill them if I cannot find someone in the academy tomorrow who would notice me and be ready to help me. I would really give them everything just to help me out in telling my family to provide me with more time in healing. I know I can still live because I still have a connection with my physical body— I could feel what my body is experiencing. Well, this will be tomorrow or never. I would just go back to NYC once I finally find no one so that I could still spend some time with my family before I perish.    

The night went on, and I stayed awake as I had just kept thinking of what I would be doing for the remaining days of my life. And, tomorrow, while I find my hero, I will begin to accomplish a few things on my wish list.    

---    

Morning came, and I was early enough at the Thales' residence to ride with Grace heading to the academy.    

I was just so sorry for everything that has happened between our friendship, but I was thankful that I had known the whole truth. Grace is indeed my most faithful friend and has always been ready to defend and fight for me. I feel bad seeing her this morning because her eyes seem to be telling that she cried so much last night over our broken-down clique. But maybe she deserves to determine who are the ones real from the ones not. Of course, we both do.    

When she had parked her car in the academy's parking lot, she stayed inside for a while, and I wondered what she would do.    

Minutes passed, and my friend just stayed inside her vehicle, doing nothing but staring at nowhere. I looked around the surroundings to find familiar faces walking by, and some are going down from their cars and bikes.    

Then both Grace and I looked at the familiar blue top-down car that just passed by before us. It's Harvey's. But something that caught both our attention— the person who has ridden shotgun with him.    

"B*tch," Grace muttered in disdain while I just sat there, not knowing what to feel, seeing our former close friend with my ex-boyfriend. Hmm, so it really is true that she wanted him so much that she would even trade our friendship for quite some time just to have him—such a great friend.    

I indeed did love Harvey, but knowing what was more important to me now, I should feel good about them together. Maybe we are just not meant to be. I did have doubts about our relationship before since I have known from a few of his exes that he did cheat on them, too. Well, maybe Pauline deserves to have him because she fought for her love, whatever the consequences of it. I just wish them the best then.    

There's no room for hate in me, knowing that I am not so sure if I could still be alive ten days from now. I better spend it with positivity, right? I mean, even if I loathe everyone who did wrong to me, it wouldn't change anything; it would just give me no peace of mind and soul.    

When Grace noticed that the bell for the first class in the morning was about to ring, she stepped out of her car and jogged into the building to head to our classroom. I just hope that what has been going on with everything with her and the girls won't affect her studies. But I trust her with it—she knows how to balance her emotions and think optimistically.    

---    

The morning went on, and I kept wandering around classroom after classroom to observe anything unusual with any student that could give me a sign that they could notice me. I even tried to visit the faculty office and include the restrooms—not the males', of course.    

When lunchtime came, I noticed the apparent change in our usual table. None of them sat down there to eat their lunch. I don't know where Grace is; Pauline is with Harvey and other students from the popular group, while the Graysons seem to be absent since I haven't seen them in their classroom earlier.    

I looked around me and felt how much I had missed this kind of life I used to live.    

Then my gaze stopped at a particular group of students here, who were eating their lunch at one table they always occupy. They are not considered a popular group, but I always wonder what their friendship is like, what makes it strong even if each of them is diverse. Well, I do know that Kevin Ramirez is gay and is Sydney's cousin; Vidia Logan had always been Sydney's best friend ever since we met in kindergarten, while Emma is relatively new to their group, but she seems to be dealing with Sydney just fine. What made them like that girl so much? I mean, we all have our other personalities, especially in how we treat other people. Still, this meanie blondie seems like she only acquaints and shows her real self with the people she wanted to be with, and the rest species are just pieces of rubbish that have been blocking her way. Hmm, if only I had the chance to know her more so I can't judge her like I knew her side of the story why she acts the way she does. But I kind of knew that that life-changing accident that had happened to her parents had something to do with it. And I can't blame her for why she hates me so much because I am kind of always blocking her way in getting to the top. Now that I am gone, she might be so bored with her school life. I wonder if she misses messing up with me, though. Hm, truth be told, I kind of miss us debating about anything debatable, even the slightest matter. Who wouldn't be missing it if you are used to doing it with her since... As far as I could remember. Now I realize that she is one of the reasons why my school life is enjoyable and exciting yet sometimes irritating.    

After I roamed around the corners of the cafeteria and found no one, I went to our classroom only to find out that Grace has been here the whole lunch break and reading a book. I wonder if she has ever eaten lunch. It's going to be bad for her if she skips a meal.    

I sat on my chair beside her and tried to look at what she's reading. Mmm, it's a novel. And based on her preferences of genres, it is for sure, having a gxg relationship. Well, I wonder who is the lucky girl that she has been dating. She better not make this girl cry, or else I would really be haunting her.    

When it's five minutes before the first subject in the afternoon starts, the classroom is being filled with students and went to sit down in their respective places. Oh, I missed this setup. This is exactly what it feels like when the class is about to start, too sad that I am not really a part of it now.    

I looked at where Grace averted her gaze to when she closed the book in her hold and put it down on the table. It's Sydney. She just walked in with Emma.    

My eyebrows met in wonder as to why Grace called her out and went near them. Hmm, they seem to be on good terms. Well, the last time Grace and I talked about the Mean Ice Queen she was damn scared, thinking that she would be killed for being her partner in an assignment. I don't know if I should be glad or whatever, but all I know is that Grace helped the blonde in proving herself clean from her scandal with my ex, which is truly good to hear.    

I stood up from the chair and decided just to continue roaming around in the hopes of finding my savior in the lower grades. And, if I can't find anyone here, I will go to another school tomorrow. I better try the public one near here— the East Border High.    

---    

The dismissal came, and all I could feel is a bit hopeless as I just failed to find the one that could notice me. I went for a stroll at the gym and saw the cheerleaders practicing. Oh, the All-State Sports Competition is coming close. It will be after the exams next week. Well, I don't play any sport, but I am pretty good at chess.    

After seeing the different athletes having their training, I decided to just head out and go to the diner fronting the Academy. I should hop from one establishment to another to find other people there that might notice me.    

As I am about to pass by the library, someone caught my attention. It's Sydney who just went out of the place. What I clearly recall is she is not a library kind of student. She doesn't need to visit this kind of place to study because I know she is a walking library herself—she is miss know-it-all. What could she be doing there then?    

When she fished out her phone from her bag, I followed behind her; then, she sat on the bench under a tree. Someone must have texted her. Hmm, who could it be? And the hell do I care? None, really, because I am quite sure that it's not her sweetheart. She is numb as heck and doesn't find romance a vital part of an individual's life.    

She seems to be smiling at something the person must have told her, and I found her looking so pretty if she does that—the smiling. I always knew that she had dimples on both sides of her face.    

I let out a breath and sat down beside her as I found this moment a perfect one to tell her something even if she can't hear me. This might be the last time that I would be seeing her, so I might take this chance to tell her what I wanted before it is too late.    

"You know what, Sydney... I want to apologize for everything. For not believing what you told me that you have no involvement with Harvey. I'm sorry, too, that I slapped you. I really feel bad about it. But yeah, I want to tell you that you are amazing and..." I began to say it to her like she's listening, and I am honest right now. There is no need for me to hate her still.    

"Do you know that I kind of see now, looking back at our history, that we were both like cats and dogs? But I should be the cat." I continued and chuckled, then went on, "If I just have the chance to live again, I would like to start something new with you."    

I meant all I am telling her because it would be nice if we will have a fresh start and would maybe, hopefully, become friends this time.    

"No, you are not real," I heard her say, and it made me hastily turn my head to look at her with my surprised face.    

"You can see me?" I asked her in complete shock, and she shook her head in response.    

"I think I am going crazy." She replied in tremor and quickly stood and walked away from me.    

Oh, my goodness! She can see me! She can hear me! And I am so damn sure of it!    

"Hey, Sydney! Could you wait for me? I know you can notice me! Wait up!" I called her out, feeling so happy, as I run to catch up with her. She just walked briskly and not bothering to slow down.    

Damn, I have finally found my hero!