Ghost In Red

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“Ouch! What the heck is your problem?” I cursed and winced in pain as my butt touched the floor after I opened my eyes and saw OJ’s face was so close to mine.    

I fell from my bed because her lips were like two inches away from touching mine, and who wouldn’t be surprised as hell?    

I got up from the floor, and I sharply looked at her, who was sitting on my bed, cross-legged, and with a grin on her super happy face.    

Her grin turned into a chuckle that later became a laugh, and I showed her an annoyed look on my face. I had just woken up, and it's still so early in the morning to be messing up with people.    

Was she trying to kiss me earlier? Or had she kissed me already, and I didn't notice?    

Hmm, this biatch must have done something silly to me while I was sleeping. But isn't it great? No.    

I crossed my arms on my chest and kept looking at her while she was losing her sh*t, laughing at me.    

“What the hell is funny, huh?” I grunted and looked away from her, and I went near my bed to fix the sheets and pillows.    

“Nothing. I just want to wish you a good morning, Syd. Did you have a good night's sleep? Nightmares? Sweet dreams? Nothing? Sweet dreams. I'm sure of that. Was I in there? I know I am.” She answered, trying to contain her wide smile, then she asked and asserted with her confidence overflowing, making me scoff, hearing her absurd claim.    

“Never,” I said with a bit of a lie, no, a total lie, and she just looked at me with a knowing stare. Of course, I am always dreaming of her. Sweet dreams, indeed.    

“Really? Not even a glimpse of me in your dreams? Any of your dreams?” She asked while still looking at me with an adorable but irritating face.    

I didn't bother to say more, as I knew it would just go somewhere into a very uncomfortable topic. It’s not that I don't want us to be together, like, come on, it’s been my life dream to be with her and call her my girl, but I am just going to go into a panic mode whenever she brings it up. I don't freaking know how to talk to her about it properly. I don't know what to say, react, and think. And I'm still speculating whether she's serious or fooling around, or am I just dreaming that she wants us to be together. No, it's not just gay panic, alright? It’s driving me insane, actually.    

When she noticed that I acted like I was ignoring her, that instead, I went to look at the time on the digital clock on my nightstand and my phone and did not bother in answering her, she went closer to me by the edge of the bed.    

"Come on, Syd. I just want to see your smile. It's a beautiful morning, isn't it? But not as beautiful as you are. Go on. You're going to smile now. I want to see those dimples of yours come out. Come on, Sydney." She insisted and teased me while sounding so cheerful, and I think that all my blood rushed to my face. Did I hear her right? Why is she like this? Is this a dream? Am I not awake yet?    

"No." I asserted and wore a grim face, and I started walking to the bathroom. I didn't bother to lock the door, but I glared at the ghost, warning her not to follow me.    

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After I was done with my business in the bathroom, I went out and saw OJ was sitting on my bed and looking like she was waiting for me to come out. Like, she has nothing else to do but annoy me and think negatively almost all of the time, and of course, flutter my heart by her presence. However, I do love her to be here with me... Always.    

She kept staring at me, reading my every move, and I faced her to know what was going on with her.    

"What's up?" I asked her, and her face lit up, and her lips formed into a bright smile.    

Well, I deeply know that something is wrong with her.    

"Yeah. What's up?" She answered and asked me back, making my eyebrows furrow as I didn't understand her. I asked her that.    

"You must have lacked sleep. You have been sounding so… different... lately." I remarked and walked past her as I went to my study table to open my computer and check my email.    

"No. I don't need sleep, Syd. It's fantastic! And… not sleeping made me realize things and know that there is so much to see around. Mhmm. Like… so so so damn much. And also… it got me thinking that… oh, maybe I was wrong about so many things, and right about so many things, too. And then yes, I am. And it's…uh, how do I say this? Umm... Oh, yeah! Flabbergasting! Indeed, Sydney Roswell, it is! Amazing!" She blurted out like a total moron, and I let out a deep sigh in frustration and looked her way. She's going crazy. That's flabbergasting.    

"I don't know what the hell you are talking about, Oj. I'm going to go out for a jog. Stay here if you want." I told her, and she stood up and levitated to the couch and sat there, and then she rambled, "No, no, no, no, Syd. You are not going anywhere… yet. We have so much to talk about. Please, talk to me. Or we could talk while you go jogging. But it's better if we talk it out here. Right now. In these four walls."    

I let out a breath, placed my left hand on the table, and leaned. I looked at her in the face and told her, "Go on. What is it?"    

She sighed in relief and clasped her hands before her and placed them on her lap, and she smiled.    

I am certainly having a bad feeling about this talk that she wants.    

"Umm… right. Uh… so… Syd, what's up…. " She began and paused, and I just raised an eyebrow, emphasizing that I don't know what she meant with what she said.    

"There?" She continued, her right index finger pointing up, and I followed her gazes that went up looking at the ceiling.    

What does she mean?    

"What? The ceiling? Roof?" I asked her, clueless as heck, and she shook her head in response, saying, "No. Of course, I know that it's the ceiling. But what is beyond there? Mhmm."    

When she asked that, I gulped and slowly looked at her face that showed like she knew something.    

Oh, sh*t!    

"No. OJ, you did not…." I gasped in shock, my eyes widened, and I noticed that she just grinned and shrugged her shoulders.    

Oh, girl, no!    

"Mhmm. Oh, sorry, Syd. But I did. Would you mind... talking about it?" She answered with her usual big bright smile, and I felt like I was soaked in iced water with the sudden coldness I felt throughout my body.    

She did not dare to… oh, I'm so effed up. No, this is not happening! This is just a bad dream—a nightmare.    

"I'm going to… No. What did you see? You should not have gone there!" I asked and huffed. Then I looked at the entrance to my haven and saw it was as before. But then I remembered that she could pass through walls and float.    

"Mm. Not much. Is there something I should see there? Like… what?" She answered and made a thoughtful smirking face, and I shook my head.    

"No. There is... Nothing. There's nothing to see there. Nothing important. I told you that already." I denied, stammering like sh*t, and I tried hard to remember if I had kept all my paintings of her in its specific container. Did I? Have I? Should I? Oh, I should have!    

But then, I felt like the odds had turned against me when OJ said something about the things that she found in the attic.    

"I like them, Syd. So much. They are all beautiful. So magical. Every single one of them. They all seem real and not painted if you look at them from afar. But hey, they are paintings. It's amazing how you made them. And… the most fascinating thing I have seen there… is me. Why?"    

That's it. I'm screwed. But maybe it's time. I don't know. I was supposed to show her all of those and tell her everything if she could get back on her feet. Damn it!    

A small smile slowly crept on my face when I heard her complimenting my artworks, and I knew that this was the moment she should know the truth—the whole of it. There is no way to run, lie, deny, and hide anymore.    

This is it.