Ghost In Red

---    

"Syd? Sydney?" I called her name with a broken voice as I didn't want to accept the truth. I don't want to open my eyes and find her nowhere near me. I don't want to think of anything tragic.    

I slowly opened my eyes and looked around the empty room. She's not anywhere here. I was just holding her, embracing her. What happened? Where did she go?    

No, it's not true. She can't be gone. This is not happening. It can't be. She can't leave me just like that.    

"Where are you? Sydney?" I yelled while sobbing, and I covered my mouth as I couldn't help but feel extremely hopeless.    

"No. Syd, come back. Where are you? This is not funny, Roswell!" I screamed and kept crying, hugging myself and wishing her to be here with me. I need her to be here with me.    

"You, stupid blonde! You didn't even say goodbye. Not even an... 'I love you, too!' What the f*ck? Sydney... I hate you. I hate you for leaving me. That's not fair!" I kept talking and blaming the girl, who made me feel this broken like never before.    

She's so not fair. It was supposed to be me first.    

"No, sh*t, Sydee! You never really want to lose, are you? You always wanted to win in every fight and disagreement we had. Even in death? You are so damn... pathetic. I have no other words for you, Roswell. Screw you! You're the worst!" I exclaimed, cursed, cried, and hugged my knees closer to my chest.    

"Fine! Now I know how it feels to be left alone by someone so dear to you. Alright! It's not good in any way. You're right. It hurts. It hurts like f*ck. But why do you have to die, huh? You should... You should be living your life like what we talked about. I know you have so much left to do and to achieve... Your family, they need you. I... I need you. Now, what am I going to do? Hold my breath, suffocate, and die? Oh, I wish it would be that easy. I still need to wait for about eleven hours. Tsk! F*ck! Your last words are 'I will see you soon'. How soon? A decade? A century? That's bullshit! Ugh!" I blurted out all the contempt I felt, and I sighed as I laid my back on the bed.    

I really don't have any idea how life and death work. I just want to disappear now. I want to close my eyes and never wake up again. I want to pop like a bubble. I want to fall from the sky and never land.    

Sydney. Sydney Roswell. She's the girl everyone fears to talk to and talk about. She's someone you want to be friends with, but you wouldn't know how to approach her without being treated coldly or rudely. She's the person I didn't want to become or be close to, but I ended up wanting to have her and be with her. And she did become mine. And the limited time we spent together... It was priceless. I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the whole world. I want to be with her longer. And knowing that she's gone now, I don't know what else to do and what to think.    

Right now, I'm thinking that maybe I was just trapped in my dream. And what had happened to Sydney and me when we were together was just a part of my sweet dream. And perhaps her death is just... A nightmare. What if... If I die, it would be the moment I can wake up? No, that's not possible. I saw what happened to Joseph and what Madam Marcella told us.    

Oh, no!    

Maybe because Syd stayed away from her body was the reason she died? Or... It could also be... No. What if she lost her life because she tried to help me live?    

I gasped as I just remembered what the madam told us. She almost lost all her family because of helping ghosts. It's a curse.    

I hastily sat up on the bed as the realization hit me like a rock on my head.    

No, no, it's all my fault. I'm the one to blame for why Sydney died. No, I shouldn't have asked her to help me in the first place! This is all my fault. I killed her.    

"No, I'm so sorry, Syd. I didn't know it would be like this. I'm so sorry." I cried as I had no other else to blame. It's all on me. She had experienced a lot of bad luck in my presence. She even broke down and wanted to give up on her life.    

No, I'm such a horrible person. I ruined her life. I ruined everything, her family, her friends, and her dreams. I clearly didn't deserve her.    

What can I do to correct all the wrongs I caused her? Do I still have a chance? I don't know.    

A few minutes passed while I was feeling bad and blaming myself, and I stood up from the bed and went to the window to look at the starry sky. A deep sigh escaped my lips, and the memory of my sweetheart flashed in my mind.    

We could have both looked at this amazing view, Syd. We could have stared at it and waited for any wishing star to pass by and make a wish.    

"Hmm, it's not even true that wishes come true," I whispered and looked down the busy street. But a smile crept on my face as I remembered that she did believe in it.    

I turned my back to the window and looked around the room. I tried to remember the moments we had in this four-cornered room, and I smiled because it was all good.    

"I'll forever treasure the memories we had here, Syd. But I guess it's time to say goodbye to this place." I muttered and walked to the door to head out.    

I want to have a glimpse of her face one more time. I want to say goodbye.    

---    

I walk into the hallway, fidgeting as I get closer to Sydney's room, and I don't know if I'm ready to see her.    

It would be my first time seeing someone dead in front of me. And no, I don't like the fact that it's going to be someone I love. But I want to see her. I need to see her.    

I know it would break me to see her friends and family mourn. And I kind of knew already that they thought that it was all my fault. Syd shouldn't have been here if not because of me. She sacrificed so much for me.    

I felt extremely anxious when a nurse and a doctor walked out the door that I was about to get in, and I wondered if Sydney was still there. I hope I'm not too late. I hope they haven't brought her out.    

I took a deep breath before I passed through the closed door, and I looked around the room.    

Then I got my mouth hung open in surprise as I looked at how the girl I wanted to see was choking her best friend. Her blue eyes fell on me, and she let go of Vidia's collar and stared at me.    

Is this real? She's... Awake.    

"I told you it's a bad idea to wake her up, Emma!" Vidia let out and coughed, and she glared at Emma and Kevin, who both were standing on the left side of Sydney's bed, while Adam and Wendy were sitting on the couch.    

I don't know what to feel right now, and I don't have any idea what to say. She's here and staring at me. There's a beeping sound. It means she's awake! She is alive!    

Oh, thank goodness!    

"It's your idea to tickle her feet, Vid. But fine, it's my idea to ring her morning alarm tone. I never thought it would work, though." Kevin uttered and giggled, and he earned a death glare from the girl on the bed who couldn't talk because of the tube in her mouth.    

I walked closer to the bed and tried to touch Syd's right leg. I want to make sure that I am seeing this scene correctly and not just a dream or a reality I created in my head. Is she really awake?    

Damn, happiness is an understatement for what I am feeling right now seeing her. She's okay.    

We all looked at Syd as she gestured something using her right hand, and I can't really understand sign language that much. But I know she meant to tell me 'Hi!', and there is another word she signed, but I don't know what it is.    

"Hey, Sydee! I'm so happy to see you. You know, I cried my sh*ts out. I almost lost my mind. I thought you died, biatch! I really hate you so much!" I greeted her and began sobbing as I held her right hand. Then I saw a small smile forming on her face.    

"You scared me to death. I hate you!" I kept crying and laughing at the same time. And I hugged her like never before. Right now, I can again feel that sensation—her warmth.    

I kissed her forehead and looked her in the eyes. Then she gestured to me, 'I love you, too! I'm sorry.'    

"It's alright. At least I know now that you are okay, Syd. I'm so glad you are alive." I answered and caressed her left cheek. I saw a tear escaping her eyes, and I warmly smiled at her.    

"Aw, OJ's here now. And Sydney's talking to her girlfriend! How sweet! They are exchanging I love yous, gays! Ayiee!" Emma remarked while slapping Kevin's right shoulder, and the pretty annoyed dude pushed her away.    

Then I noticed how Sydney reached for her best friend's left hand and pulled her as she tried to sit up on the bed. And quickly, Vidia stopped her.    

"Oh, no, no, girl! Stay low. You heard what the white-clothed people told you earlier. You should be resting now, or they'll get back here and sedate you."    

"She tryna tell us something, Vid," Kevin said, and Syd showed us a thumb up. Then Emma ran to the couch and took something from a backpack. I guess that was her bag... beside Sydney's suitcase and... Sylvia.    

Oh, her things are here! I knew it! Thank goodness!    

"Oh! What are you saying, Syd? I can barely understand sign language. Who else can? Adam? No? Wendy? None. What's this for?" Vidia asked and wondered why Emma handed her a tablet and a stylus.    

"Make her write, dumbass. We don't want to play charades around here the whole night and try to guess what she's saying, word for word. We're running out of time, remember?" Emma asserted and pulled a stool and sat down near Sydney's feet.    

Well, this redhead got a brilliant idea. But why would they run out of time? What are they in a hurry for?    

"Yeah, good one! Here, Syd. Can you write? Tell us what you want." Vidia said and handed my girlfriend the stylus, and she let her scribble on the screen.    

I looked at the only man in the room as he stood up from the couch and joined us. He looked at his sister and what she was writing.    

I read what Syd had written on the tablet, and Vidia voiced it out. "Help OJ! Please!"    

"Ah, no! F*ck, no! You don't have to ask, b*tch. We were on it! We are actually about to disperse this room to spread into three teams. Team Alpha is going to NYC with their team leader, Emma, and two bouncers, your cousin and your bro. At the same time, Team Beta is heading to East Side. That will be me with Olivia if she is here with us. And Team Charlie is staying here with you. That would be Wendy and your little nephew. It won't be a problem if he comes out anytime soon because they're already here in a hospital. We just tried to wake you up to tell you that we got this, and you shouldn't worry about anything if you wake up soon and find us nowhere around. Right, guys?" Vidia explained with a bright smile, and I didn't have any words to say. Wow! Really?    

Sydney looked at them with her eyes blinking in disbelief. And she wrote something on the tablet, saying, "OK. Thanks, y'all! Why East Side?"    

Vidia smirked and said, "We found OJ's mom."