The Scars

I was dumbfounded. Vera closed her SNS account and in a flash embraced my fragile body. She twined her arms around my shoulder. I choked back my tears. Weeping would not undo the tragedy that had smashed me. I pulled my body out of her arms and looked into her eyes.    

    

“Thank you,” I said in a very low tone like a whisper.    

    

“Don’t mention it.”    

    

“Today marks one thing. This is not my place, Vera.” She was supposed to argue. I did not allow her to do that. “Nina is right. I don’t deserve to be here. My family and social background don’t suit this elite school. Goodbye, Vera.” Vera held my hand, restraining me to stay. I released her hand from mine.    

    

“Ilana is a tough girl, not a hopeless one. Where does your spirit go, Ilana?” She jolted my feeble shoulder. “It is not you used to be. I no longer see the fervor in your eyes. Why have you changed? Do you think it is only your life that burned out? I hurt. Reno hurt. Do you know how I can still stand at my feet in front of you? How? It is because I have you. My mother doesn’t even care whether I am still alive or not. My aunt has ruined my only hope. I have you. That’s the only reason why I am here now, still breathing.” Her both hands were still on my shoulders.    

    

“I am just human, Vera. You can live even without me. I am sorry, first, for breaking the rule and second, for shattering your hope. I am sorry. I have to go.” I threw her hands.    

    

I abandoned Vera who was shouting out my name in her sob. This was my decision. I would not look back on whatever happened. I did not know why I felt free. It was like I just got the freedom I had been longing for. I had been oppressed for a long time inside that building through its system and people.    

    

The thing I had concerned about was how to face my mother and explained anything to her. Realizing that I was her only hope engraved regret and guilt all at once in her heart. I halted at the bus stop and sat on the bench, not waiting for the bus but thinking of a way how to tell my mother that her daughter quitted or dropped out. That would surely destroy her world. I rumpled my hair.    

    

“Ilana, what are you doing here at this hour?” I looked upon someone who greeted me. It was my uncle. I was shocked. “Are you sick?”    

    

“I am fine. I was late and the teacher did not allow me to get in.” It was not a lie. I had been one hour late, indeed.    

    

“Have you had your breakfast?” I shook my head. “I’ll treat you to your favorite food.” My eyes squinted. Did he know my favorite food?    

    

“Your mother said that you liked fried rice.”    

    

“Yes. It is the most delicious food in the world.”    

    

“I’ll take you to the nearest restaurant where you can enjoy the best-fried rice.” He led me to his car which was being parked at the edge of the road. He did not have time to park the car before he approached me. I got inside his car. The vehicle took its leave.    

    

The restaurant was located about five hundred meters from the bus stop. I was amazed by its tunnel-like design. A long path split the seat and the tables on the left and right sides. The visitors could sit face to face enjoying the food as well as the music. There was a green garden outside of the transparent glass made the wall. Brown dominated the color of the room and its glass ceiling. It reflected classic nuance while at the same time adopting a modern atmosphere.    

    

We chose the seats on the right side where we could relish the green plant. Uncle Ardi ordered two portions of fried rice, an apple juice for me and an orange juice for him. A pretty waitress brought us the food in a few minutes. The serving was great and the food was so good. I loved being here. It was my first time to be in a restaurant.    

    

I drank my juice after two spoonsful of friend rice passed my esophagus. I was considering revealing my issue to him. My heart was still debating if I had to do it. But then, his handphone beeped. It was a call from someone. Her expression turned pale. He hung up the phone a minute later.    

    

“Uncle....I....” I doubtfully muttered. I decided to say the truth.    

    

“Ilana, I’m sorry. I have to go now. Your aunt is waiting for me. I have promised to accompany her to the department store today. I forgot that promise. I’ll pay for the food. So, just finish it. See you.” He waved his hand at one of the waiters and handed that tall man the payment after he received the bill. He hurriedly went out.    

    

I was eating my food under the supervision of the waiters. Their eyes set on me as if inspecting me as if this place did not fit me because of my appearance. I walked out as soon as I finished the food. Going home was not a good choice. I was afraid that my mother had been at home. So, I have made up my mind that I would do my routine, scavenging.    

    

I strolled down the road and even a housing complex to search for valuable things that I could trade with money. The broker might purchase my junks at a good price this time. Abruptly, the comment from the students on social media that I used my body to get money emerged in my mind. It struck me. I did not realize that I subsided and squatted in the line.    

    

“Hey! You...weigh your junk.” I did what he instructed. He gave me the money.    

    

I trailed back through the main road. It was a very hot day. The only thing I focused on was going home. My heart was pounding faster. What if my mother found my ripped shirt? What would she think of? She asked me this morning why I wore a sports uniform. She knew my schedule that I did not have sports class today. I reasoned that the teacher made up the class because he was absent last meeting. What an absurd thing! I sped up my pace. From behind, a motorcycle roared near me that making me flinch. The rider stopped right before me. he took off his helmet. A familiar face accosted me with a grin. It was someone I abhorred and avoided, Kevin. I had to run away from him.