The Scars

Kevin locked the door behind him and straightway proceeded toward me. I took steps back. He saved me yesterday. It was impossible that he would harm me today. But, the way he scrutinized me attested that he had bad intention. He did not quit even though my back had touched the table. In a very short time, his hand reached my blouse and ripped it off. I fought against him to protect myself. My mouth managed to open yet sadly no voice came out of it. It was swallowed by my panic and fear. He successfully tore the button of my shirt out. That incident occurred too fast. He did nothing afterwards and just rushed out. I cried, sitting on the floor until the librarian came and I was in hurry grabbing my bag and went away. I did not care when that short woman yelled at me asking what just happened.    

    

I scurried out, descending the stairs until I got to the entrance of the main building. Thankfully, I did not cross anyone in the lobby or out of the building. At this hour, students mostly had left the school. Gripping my ripped shirt with one hand and my bag in another hand, I rushed toward the gate as quickly as possible. My heart was marked with guilt for ignoring the greeting by the security guard. My condition gave me no option to even smile as a response to his friendliness.    

    

I lost counts of how many times I had been running in my life, rushing to school almost every day, escaping from the debt collectors and robbers, rescuing myself from Tony, racing with time to save Vera. Today, another record was added, running away from the horrible thing that I was still puzzled about and wondered why Kevin did that to me. If only I did not find and read the note, I would not go to the library and meet Kevin there. I would not be humiliated. It made me ultimately come to the conclusion, no one in this world I should have believed in except myself and my mother, not even Reno.    

    

The tears formed puddles in my eyes and streamed down my cheek. These tears transmitted all the sorrow my heart felt or my soul suffered from to the world where I stood. And the world sent me its rain. Was it a form of condolence the universe showed to me?    

    

The passersby sought protection in the safest place along the way. On contrary, I let the sky pour the water all over my body that I get soaked under the downpour. I wished it would sweep the stain from the filthy hands tearing my blouse. Perhaps, the rainfall would erase today’s bad memory.    

    

It was only void I discovered when I was home. The only plastic chair in its place with a wooden table on its side welcomed me in desolation. It was good that mother labored outside. She would be in tears finding me in a miserable condition if she were here.    

    

I changed my school uniform into a t-shirt and long skirt and plunged myself into a thin matrass. My bag and its contents scattered on the earth floor. An urge to fall asleep was the only thing which came up after a long cry. I let my tangled hair cover my swollen eyes. I dove into another world not long after that.    

    

It was my mother’s lilting voice that woke me up. My ears caught the hesitation in her low tone. She wiggled my waist slowly. With my half-opened eyes, I vaguely viewed my mother’s figure near me, gazing me in anxiety.    

    

“Mom...you’re home?”    

    

“Are you well?” Instead of getting her answer, I received a question.    

    

“Yes... why are you asking me that, Mom? I am safe and sound,” I affirmed.    

    

“That’s good. You have slept for many hours since yesterday afternoon when I comeback at 5 p.m. until this morning. And you know what time is it now? It is almost 7 a.m.”    

    

“What?” I was popeyed. “I was getting late to school.” I got up but then stilled in my place. My mind recalled yesterday’s incident. It discouraged me to go to school. Other students did not witness what happened to me yet I had a bad feeling that unexpected thing could have been waiting for me at school.    

    

“Why do you stand still? You will be awarded as a queen of sluggish if you don’t move from where you are in a second.” My mother teased me. That was not funny at all for me at this moment. How could I explicate that I would not go to school today? Did I have to pretend to be sick? Or did I have to tell her the truth? That was the most impossible thing because I knew what the consequence was.    

    

“Mom, I forget to say that....”    

    

“You have monthly test today,” I had not finished my sentences yet. It could not be continued since I was about to give an excuse that the teacher had meeting and permitted the students to study at home. That reason could not be used. I wrecked my brain to find a way how to stay at home today.    

    

“Mom...I...”    

    

“The only way to change your future is through good education.” She preached me.    

    

I dragged my steps to school in reluctance as though passing a steep road. The sun shone brightly in the east. The time might strike eight. It was just my guess by looking at the morning sunshine. I hesitated to go to school so that I ceased few times on my way. But, my mother’s lecture kept playing in my head like a lullaby she used to sing when I was a child.    

    

I had passed the buildings, the parks, the trees yet the school gate was still far from my sight. It was not a distant place to go from my whereabouts. It was my reluctance and slow movement that made it farther than it really was. I could guarantee that it took more than one hour for me to finally arrive in front of the gate.    

    

I spotted the girl in short hair and tall body straightening with her back facing me. She turned around. How ecstatic I was to recognize the girl as Vera. I ran up to her. But then, what she showed me broke my heart to pieces. It was something I never imagined that would chastise me. The picture exposed me in a torn blouse with a boy who really looked like Reno from the right side. It displayed as if we did something indecent in the library. The picture had been shared on social media. And woefully, I never had any account on social media. I could not monitor how people on cyber world do or talk about me. One of the accounts wrote a painful comment below the picture.    

    

“As I guessed, she even sold her body for money. How despicable she is.” One account commented on the picture of me and Kevin who resembled as Reno posted by someone.