Planned Love

Yes, I admit it, and at that moment I had the urge to throw myself into his arms and kiss him.    

    

But I did the opposite, and I pushed him away.    

    

I struggled out of my passion, and I didn't want to be caught up in it again. That feeling was indeed good, but now was the wrong time.    

    

If the timing is wrong, love will be entangled again, and I will face again the things I do not want to face. But right now, I can't be distracted.    

    

I believed more and more, focusing on doing my own things, and then everything that I wanted would come.    

    

If you bloom, the heavens will arrange it brilliantly.    

    

"Don't do that, Sheng Yun." I looked at him with a very indifferent gaze. There was pain hidden in my heart, but my eyes were very cold. Don't let your emotions get the better of you. This way, it's not good for anyone. "    

    

"Shubei, you're getting calmer and calmer." "You can't be so calm. If you are so calm, I will …"    

    

He stopped talking, and I asked, "What will happen to you?"    

    

"I can't help it. I want to pull out your heart again. Let's see what you have in your heart now. Do you still have a place for me?" His eyes were burning.    

    

Strangely enough, the calmer I was, the more uncontrollable his madness became. In the past, he had clearly been very calm at all times.    

    

"It's only been half a year. You've become so fast." he said, looking at me in disbelief.    

    

"What do you think will happen to me?" I looked at him and asked flatly, "I can't help but leap into your arms? I'll cry to you about how much I've missed you these past six months. I will beg you to come back to me? — No, Sheng Yun, I have never been such a woman. I can love, and naturally I can put it down. "    

    

"I know, you are Xu Shubei. I know that you will push me far away for half a year, but I never thought that you would be far enough away for me to … I can't even reach it. " He looked at me with a pained expression. "Subconsciously, I still feel that you are mine, that you love me."    

    

"Is it that important whether you love her or not?" I looked at him and let out a sad laugh. "If there is, I will make you give up your golden age to love me. Can you do that? Of course you can't. This means that you have something more important in your heart. If it wasn't so, you wouldn't have cooperated with the Xu. Since you have something more important than love in your heart, I naturally have it too. I will also chase after me.    

    

"You're still angry, you're still angry, aren't you?" He looked at me with a hint of surprise in his eyes. It was as if she thought that I was just angry with her, but behind those angry words, there was still a deep love hidden.    

    

I shook my head and said, "I'm speaking the truth, not the truth. Just take care of yourself and let them take the boat back to shore, okay? "    

    

"I'm not going to let you off this ship tonight." His tone became domineering once again.    

    

My gaze turned cold as I said, "Is that interesting?"    

    

"Yes." he said heavily, looking at me.    

    

"Even if you possess me again, my decision and determination will not change." I said, looking at him.    

    

"I know, but I still want to give it a try." "No," he said.    

    

"Winter quilts, summer grass, an untimely warmth, will only make you feel more desolate." I said coldly.    

    

He took my hand and led me out of the cabin and onto the prow. We could see the lights of the players on the shore. The two of them stood side by side at the bow of the boat.    

    

It was sad and beautiful, but it was still inappropriate.    

    

I took my hand away again and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm not in the mood to appreciate the scenery."    

    

He turned his head to look at me, and my repeated rejections turned his eyes from grief to sadness. He stood there with his hands behind his back and said lightly, "I thought the beauty here would make you forget for a moment that you are Xu Shubei. How many women have lived more than you? "    

    

"Isn't the reality good? Be realistic, so as not to be hurt by the illusion of love. I am glad that I have always been wrapped in a layer of hard shell. Although carrying this shell on my back was very tiring and tiring, I am glad that it has always been protecting me. " "No," I said.    

    

"I know I broke that shell once, but I also know I sewed it up again. I knew the shell was harder, and I was outside. "I understand, I've always understood." Sheng Yun said slowly.    

    

"If you really understand, take me to the shore." "No," I said.    

    

"Alright."    

    

To my surprise, he agreed so readily.    

    

I thought he would do it again, as he had done every time I resisted his control, and he would force me to submit to him in the most extreme and oppressive way possible.    

    

But this time, he chose to respect me.    

    

I let out a long breath.    

    

"I don't dare to force you anymore. I used to understand that if I force you to do so, I will once again obtain your heart. "But now, I am certain that I am afraid that if I try to force it again, I will completely lose you." he said, seeing me exhale.    

    

"You will, you will lose me completely. "It's the wisest decision to send me to the shore." "No," I said.    

    

"You changed, and then you felt gratified and scared at the same time …" He shook his head and said, "I'm afraid if this goes on, one day you'll be ahead of me. If I ever love you again, I'll go after you. Shubei, my pride won't allow me to bow my head to any woman, including you. "    

    

Naturally, I understood the meaning behind his words. I shook my head and said, "You don't have to bow your head to any woman, including me. You can give up on me, and I'll gladly accept it. "    

    

"Shubei, you …" He came over and tried to force a kiss on me, but my estrangement frightened him again. He sighed deeply and said to the waiter standing inside, "Please come ashore."    

    

The boat began to slowly move towards the shore. His mind seemed to be somewhat agitated and restless. He seemed to have lost his sense of propriety.    

    

I don't know if it was my silence that drove him crazy. But for the first time, I felt that I was holding his heart, not passively being manipulated.    

    

For the first time in our game, I took the initiative and was no longer led by his nose.    

    

Compared to my calmness, he was obviously at a loss.    

    

I sat on the prow, took off my shoes, hung my legs over the edge of the boat, and watched the lake.    

    

He sat down too, holding my hand tightly and saying, "Be careful, don't fall off."    

    

"I used to sit on the edge of the top floor of the Golden Age Building and I didn't fall down. What's there to be afraid of, such a low bow? " I faintly smiled and said as if I didn't mind.    

    

"I know your courage and boldness, but I still hope … In front of me, you are weaker and gentler. " "No," he said.    

    

"If what you need is a gentle, vulnerable woman, you probably won't choose me. From the first time we met, you knew what kind of woman I was. " I looked him straight in the eye and spoke slowly.    

    

"I know, I've challenged you, and I've won your heart. Now, I have lost it again. " He was a little depressed, and then he shouted to the waiter inside, "Bring two jugs of rice wine!"    

    

The waiter quickly brought some rice wine and a few dishes filled with wine.    

    

He unscrewed the lid of the jug and took a long drink, then said: "Drunk, intoxicating at night, and you... "Even more intoxicating."    

    

He began to talk more and more boldly, and I knew he was trying to pry open my hard shell again, to pry into my soft heart.    

    

I also picked up the wine jug and lightly touched it with his. After that, I took a big gulp and said, "Unfortunately, no matter how strong the wine is, no matter how beautiful the night is, no amount to the cruelty and bloodshed of reality."    

    

"Hehe …" He reached out to pinch my face, and he said, "But you are so much prettier. In the past, she used to be too beautiful, but now she was so beautiful that people could see her ambition with a single glance. Now she was beautiful, but she was also very beautiful. That was her ambition, from her eyes … "It has sunk into my heart."    

    

I smiled faintly before taking another sip of my wine. "As long as you're happy, that's fine."    

    

"I'm unhappy because for the first time... I feel a sense of defeat. " He shook his head and said a little drunkenly, then took a few gulps of wine.    

    

"You?" I looked at him and said with a half-smile, "So you're going to fail? It's not like you. "    

    

He lifted my chin. In the night, his white face was covered with a thin layer of mist, making him look dreamy. He said, "Yes, since I was young, I have been able to get what I want. I thought I could have the woman I wanted. "But I don't understand. I clearly had you, and you even gave birth to a child for me, but why do I feel like I've lost you, completely lost you?"    

    

I smiled, suddenly realizing where my unreality had come from. How could a person cherish something that was within his reach? The more you value it, the more he feels he won't lose it.    

    

Now that he was far away, he began to slowly cut open his heart bit by bit for you to see, to let you see the ravines in his heart, to let you see his love and ruthlessness.    

    

The appearance of love is sometimes confusing. He could only watch from the sidelines.    

    

Tonight, for the first time, I felt his genuine concern. But I don't care.    

    

The boat slowly arrived at the shore. He had already finished a pot of wine and I had also raised my head to drink the wine. I patted his shoulder and said, "The wine is very good and the food is also very good. Your words are even more pleasant." But the boat is on shore and I'm leaving. See you in the martial arts world, Sheng Yun. "    

    

I got up from the bow and walked indifferently to the deck, leaving him a calm and determined figure in the night. I did not turn my head back, but I could feel the light in his eyes as he stood by the shore. He must be looking at me, his eyes were like stars in the dark night sky, I think, Sheng Yun, it's three days since we parted, I must make you look at me in a new light …